I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
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I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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