i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
