just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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