I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
