my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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