These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
