Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
