Im at strip club and am horny
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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