Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
