At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
