please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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