Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
