the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
