I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
