Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
