mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
