made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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