We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
