And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
