i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
