"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
