these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
