dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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