Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
