At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
