She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
