I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed