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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?

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• (707): View more from California

  I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am both scared and jealous.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You're welcome.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  What changed your mind?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Being sober

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• (760): View more from California

  The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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• (831): View more from California

  ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.

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