At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.