I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans