Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
What changed your mind?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.