Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

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(407): View more from Florida

i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(317): View more from Indiana

They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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(229): View more from Georgia

If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.

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