ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
