from now on my penis is your penis
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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