it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
