Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
