clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize