Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
