But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
