I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
