I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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