so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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