omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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