I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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