whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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