The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
worst night to have a conscience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
