Sry I called you an 8
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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