so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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