i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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