I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize