I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
