we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
