I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
