Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
