Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
