I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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