Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
