hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
