I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize