What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is it penis luge time yet?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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