OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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