I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
