what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize