I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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