Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
