You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
