If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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