TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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