Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Someone shit on the floor
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
