i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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